023-THe BurdEn of Perfectionism IV – Ever a Mess; Ever on Trial
THe BurdEn of PErfEctionisM IV
Many who bear the Burden of Perfectionism live with the constant the sense of always being on trial, right there before the judge and jury. The terror of judgment has to do with not being unassailably perfect!
Hence, the person makes preemptive strikes against the self to fend of divine wrath: “I’m bad… stupid… an idiot!”
Self-judging leads a perfectionist most often to take up the ruse of “I’m trying” to ward off judgment and the fear of judgment.
Seems to me that the deep experience of Mercy serves as an antidote. Yet mercy given is not always mercy received. When one begins to endure the personal sense of incompleteness (creatureliness), it’s more probable that one can receive mercy right there, in the real place of terror.